My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
