what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
