How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
