Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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