question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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