Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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