People with herpes should wear stickers.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
