It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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