operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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