is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Randomize
