Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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