it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
