His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
