Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
