the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
