Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
