I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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