WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
