shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
