I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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