cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
