love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
