Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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