Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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