Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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