You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
