I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
