There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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