I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
