bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
