I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize