? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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