I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
