it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
