Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We had sex on a dog bed..
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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