I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
