i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize