My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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