He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
