did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
