So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
