Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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