Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize