that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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