Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
