Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
