oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
