well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize