i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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