Ambien. No doubt about it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
