So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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