I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
