I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
