Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
