He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
